


Poietomania

by b1234



Category: Hindu Religions & Lore, Mahabharata - Vyasa
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Hypersexuality, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-18 03:08:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21770779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b1234/pseuds/b1234
Summary: Krishna cannot help but offer his friend Arjuna a moment of comfort that defies time and space, before they must deal with the reality of his pain.
Relationships: Arjuna (Mahabharata)/Krishna (Hindu Religions & Lore), Draupadi/Subhadra(Mahabharata)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Poietomania

**Author's Note:**

> Do not count on me to know Hindu mythology in any great detail, this will probably be OOC in some way.
> 
> Dedicated to all the Arjuna fans out there as well as someone who has been wanting some cosmic mind-breaking Krishna/Arjuna action.

Though the war had finally ended, the wounds were still fresh.

It was not strange for survivors to be found breaking down in tears in the middle of a mundane, daily task. Hell was never far away for one who had seen war; the slightest provocation could transport them to the past without warning. Nights were especially unforgiving, full of terrors and screaming fits. 

Such was also the case for Arjuna.

"Arjuna,

we should celebrate your victory.

Come on a pleasure trip with me, just us two."

Krishna's invitation came to him at the perfect moment soon after the war's end, almost certainly knowing Arjuna would become entrenched in his thoughts if left to his own devices.

His mind needed a reprieve from itself, and from Hastinapur, and this was a welcome opportunity to spend time with a dear friend.

Arjuna brought with him only the necessities, wanting to pack lightly if they were going to be travelling far. Two of his beloved wives, Draupadi and Subhadra, helped made sure he left with everything he needed and a bowl of his favorite food.

They were suffering along with him; he almost wished he could simply stay and comfort them. Was that not the correct thing for a husband to do? But he knew his bouts of sadness were not doing them well either; perhaps trying to return to routine living was not the most helpful thing at the moment.

They seemed to know he would be happiest being with his friend, as they had practically jumped at the chance to help him pack and get him to leave the palace. It was no secret that he and Krishna were practically more married to each other than anyone else. After all, Krishna spoke of his eternal, overwhelming love for Arjuna at any given opportunity, to anyone willing to listen. It was enough to make Arjuna's face heat up in embarrassment still.

He was reassured to know that his wives were secure in their relationship with him while accepting Krishna's place in his life. He used to worry that they would be unapproving or jealous, but as they sent him away from Hastinapur during a glorious, golden dawn, they simply told him to enjoy himself and take care. 

If it bothered his wives enough that he was to go off alone with Krishna, suggestive as it was, they would have said so, but all he caught were whispers of ‘lovebirds’ as Subhadra and Draupadi stayed behind together giggling at him. He sincerely hoped that they would enjoy their uninterrupted company without him as well. They all deserved some time to celebrate and refresh themselves after the ordeal they had been through.

"Where will you take me?" Arjuna asked, eyes shining with excitement.

"Everywhere." Krishna answered, taking his hand.

Krishna and he travelled throughout the land, like two twins would frolick in heaven, through sacred places, idyllic woodlands, waterfalls, mountains, gardens, all lush, all overflowing with life and beauty. They swam together, smelled wild flowers, ate richly, and conversed for hours nonstop. Arjuna was grateful to be alive to see such wonders and experience such enjoyment, and with his dear friend, no less.

Despite the joyfulness of his days with Krishna, suffering did not cease to pursue him, intruding upon his thoughts to punish him. He tried to hide it from his friend but it was a useless endeavor, for he knew Krishna worried for him but did not address it for his dignity's sake, at least until the moment was right. If Arjuna woke up, sweat-soaked and crying, Krishna embraced him until the tears stopped, asking him only if he was okay.

Arjuna was the one who started it. 

He kissed Krishna, knowing both of their resolves would break with his actions, seducing him to satisfy his body and silence his mind. It felt like an inevitability, it felt natural, and yet at the same time, like something he shouldn't do. However, he couldn't stop, not in tall grasses, not in lazy rivers, not in snowy hilltops.

"Arjuna,

what's gotten into you?"

Krishna laughed beneath him. If it bothered him, he didn't show it. Krishna seemed to openly enjoy being seduced at first, the tension between them having finally been relieved. Arjuna bit his lip, not knowing how to respond.

It was like instinct. He hadn't meant for it to happen really. He needed something, anything that would occupy him, that would overwhelm him so fully that he couldn't remember the things he didn't want to think about anymore. He felt something like that when he and Krishna touched, like he was beyond the world itself. 

Unsurprisingly, the feeling didn't last long. He became increasingly demanding, and Krishna never minded until Arjuna tried to seduce him in the middle of a crowded village when no one was looking. 

"Arjuna... 

In public?"

Krishna stared at him, wide-eyed. He refused to allow Arjuna to kiss him as they were pulled through the village by horses, knowing Arjuna's intentions. It was a scandalous action to even consider.

"Perhaps I should ask you again, what this is all about."

Arjuna wasn't so hurt by Krishna's rejection that he had started crying, but rather the pounding of his head had pushed him into hell suddenly, his son was in his arms, bleeding, whimpering from the pain, no, no, why hadn't he been there—

"No, I can't stop seeing them, I can hear— Abhimanyu—"

He slammed his hands onto his ears with a sharp inhale, clenching his teeth in a desperate effort to stay calm but to no avail. His vision was flooding with tears, overflowing to run down his cheeks.

"Arjuna. Arjuna. Look at me."

Krishna's expression turned serious but his tone remained gentle.

Arjuna obeyed, rubbing his tears away with rough, bruising movements. Krishna grasped Arjuna's hands in his and looked into his eyes, searching.

It had finally come to this. The parts of his brain that weren't echoing with his son's screams could only focus on how he had nearly disgraced himself and his dear friend through his own selfish, dirty desires. It was a knife of guilt in his gut, knowing his friend had only done everything he could to celebrate and make Arjuna happy.

Krishna reached out to hold Arjuna's face in his hands as if it were something precious. He frowned, lifting his thumbs to touch the delicate skin around Arjuna's eyes, as if to say 'be more gentle'.

"Listen,

those who you loved and lost would not want you to think of them and cry. 

Remember them as they lived. They would want you to be happy and move on. 

Wouldn't you think so?"

Krishna smiled upon him, emanating peace and compassion and calm. He was right, of course, and Arjuna was aware of how irrational he himself had been acting. He felt so out of control when his mind wasn't occupied. 

That smile succeeded in touching Arjuna for a moment, he almost thought he would be fine, before he stiffened and shook with sobs suddenly.

"I— I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I..."

Krishna hurried to tell him that it was okay and to please not be so hard on himself, shhh, and embraced him. Arjuna buried his face into his friend's shoulder and finally allowed himself to break down, wailing. 

Despite the side of justice succeeding in the end, everyone was a loser in war. Friends lost, mentors lost, sons lost, and in some other world, perhaps a brother... It was too much for anyone to bear.

As Arjuna wept, he felt more connected to Krishna than anyone anywhere, as if their minds were intertwining like the twisting branches of trees. Only Krishna could understand. With his power, Arjuna wouldn't be surprised if Krishna knew exactly what he was thinking or feeling. 

Krishna too knew the pain of the war, possibly of the entire world, but he was wise and vast enough to understand it all. While it was true that Arjuna had god-blood and lightning, in the end, he felt like he had always been the more vulnerable one. The world was a punishing place, no matter how powerful one was.

"Arjuna," Krishna said, as if they were both in a dream. "Humans can live well because they have the ability to forget."

Arjuna shivered at his friend's warm breath tickling his ear. A hand rubbed his back, up and down, soothingly.

"It wouldn't be right to them for me to forget..."

His hold around Krishna tightened.

"You too deserve happiness. It's what they would want for you as well."

He knew his thoughts were stubborn and just forcing Krishna to repeat himself. His dear friend whom he trusted more than anyone... If anyone could ease his pain for even a moment, it was him.

"Please, Krishna.

Make me forget. 

I need you to make it so that I can't think of anything other than you, even if it's only for a short while."

Arjuna's voice cracked from crying and he knew that he couldn't have looked attractive all red-eyed and tear-streaked, but he hoped that his friend would show mercy and help him when he needed it most.

Krishna said nothing, only hushed him and continued to soothe him with his hands until they finally arrived at the edge of the village. They left the crowds, Krishna leading him away to a lonely place in the forest lush with waves of tall grass, looming trees, and thick blooms, all set underneath a smoky blue sky. Arjuna's senses were delighted by the liveliness of nature surrounding them; his friend knew of so many wonderful places.

Krishna too was pleased by the greenery but could not seem to keep his eyes away from Arjuna for long. He brought his body close to Arjuna's, breath warm, eyeing his friend's lips with anticipation.

"If you ask, I am willing to distract you to the fullest of my ability, such that it will tear apart the heavens and earth.

Is that what you desire, Arjuna?"

"Yes," Arjuna breathed. "Please, give me your all, even if it destroys me."

With that, the vibrant forest, the chanting of birds and insects, and the thick blooms of flowers around him all vanished in an instant. The world became but a pile of peacock feathers stacked up to the moon, blowing away in the wind like nothing because Krishna willed it, so no one else existed in the entire world, only Arjuna. He wished sometimes that he could disappear into Krishna in much the same way.

Krishna leaned into him, pressing their lips together, soft, and in a moment, he was growing beyond his human form, becoming conceptual, boundless, chest expanding with each inhale to conceive of new galaxies within himself. 

It was awe-inspiring yet at the same time, terrifying. Arjuna felt like he was near the edge of a chasm, about to fall, looking into his friend’s infinite depths. He could never get used to being in the presence of God. Perhaps it was something that was new every time.

Arjuna had wondered about the ways of the world and the ways of gods all his life but when he was with Krishna, the big questions would slip away. Would it have helped him to have all the answers? Would Krishna have even said anything? Or would Arjuna have failed even harder having such knowledge and being unable to properly understand its enormity?

Krishna probably knew everything anyway, so perhaps everything happened the way it did because there was no other way it could have. Krishna had given him so much as it was, companionship, comradery, wisdom, and still Arjuna couldn't stop death from cutting so many pieces of his world away. But that was simply how life was.

Regardless of the truth, thinking about it more wasn't helping. It never had. Arjuna let go of his thoughts and the tension in his body rushed out, like wind through the treetops.

How was Krishna fitting into him? So easily, as well. It couldn't have been physically possible. His senses were pushed beyond human limits at the way he felt with Krishna deep inside him; he became a million swirling, uncountable reflections of himself, seeing into dimensions he never knew existed.

Arjuna wasn't sure he was even a person anymore, he felt more like a celestial body expanding with light. There was no more hurt or shame; he was simply one of God’s creatures, much beloved, like any worm in the ground, any lion in the jungle, any star in the sky. He was not an ugly blight at all, he had done everything he could.

Krishna's movements would certainly have been able to kill him if he were simply human, to make him scream and weep orgasmically before melting into blood from the cosmic heat and pressure. Fortunately, his flesh was now abstract; Arjuna could only moan softly at the energies, velocities, geometries filling him.

"Krishna, don't—" Arjuna gasps. 

"Don't stop—"

Krishna sighed Arjuna's name into his body, over and over, as if it were the most beautiful word he knew.

"Arjuna...

I love you more than anything."

Arjuna was filled with the impression that new things were popping into creation and dying out of it at incredible speed. Extinction and creation flowed into and out of one another, he realized. It was merciless and intense, this pace.

What drove God's urge to create? Was it compulsion? Was it like the lust Arjuna felt? It must have felt good. He couldn't take much more.

"Krishna, I love you too— ah—"

Arjuna melded with him for a moment that stretched on outside of time itself, so immensely enraptured that he could not help from moving his hips, impaling himself further, trying to get closer... But they were already one.

When he finished, it was as though his orgasm tore him to shreds, he was like a comet consumed by fire, and then Krishna came inside him— 

It was too much. Was the universe shaking apart or was it just him? His mind was cauterized shut, his existence was evaporating from the incomprehensible heat, he was dying—

Abruptly, there was no universe in existence and there was no time; everything was white— empty.

He could hear only Krishna's voice reverberating across the pleasurable, empty expanse.

"Don't worry, Arjuna.

I would not be able to tolerate the world without you... so I will not allow it."

"Krishna, 

you truly feel that way about me?"

It was strange how he could feel his smile stretch from ear to ear even with no body, still being brought back into existence. Slowly, savoring the moment of true and perfect calm, the threads of reality were joined together again.

When Arjuna woke up, he was lying in the soft grass with his friend stroking his hair. He had had the most pleasant dream about Krishna, the sweetness of his lips...

When had he fallen asleep?

His body was pleasantly exhausted but he didn't know why. His mind was also empty. He felt confused yet blissful, like he had turned into one of the flowers in the brush. The whole day passed Arjuna without another thought as they rested in the grass, Krishna petting him softly, whispering to him sweet nothings. 

Later, Krishna would tell him everything that had happened with a laugh, that it had not been a dream at all. Arjuna would stare at him slack-jawed in amazement that he was alive, that anything was. To Krishna, that was only natural.

They would go on another adventure together: helping Arjuna to truly cope, to find a way to express his feelings and turn his pain into something productive that could help himself as well as others... 

Krishna would be there for him the whole way.

**Author's Note:**

> Poiesis is etymologically derived from the ancient Greek term ποιεῖν, which means "to make", the activity in which a person brings something into being that did not exist before. (Wikipedia)  
> "Poietomania" is a word I made up, trying to convey the uncontrollable desire to create, like that of artists or gods, as a kind of lust.
> 
> The description of Arjuna and Krishna's trip after the war was somewhat paraphrased here from the book "Same-Sex Love in India" by Ruth Vanita.
> 
> What I imagine would help Arjuna cope would be his creative love of music and dance as well as helping teach youths like Vrishaketu or Parikshit (though I don't know enough to say if he did that).
> 
> This is respectfully meant as entertainment only.  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
